Is it happening to me?
Disagreements in relationships are normal but when they become frequent and begin to form a pattern, it might be a sign that something is wrong, and possibly abusive
– a word that is hard for many people to think about or even say out loud.
If something doesn’t feel right in your relationship, it probably isn’t.
An abuser may say things like ‘I didn’t mean it’, ‘I was having a bad day’, ‘It only happened once’ in order to justify or excuse their hurtful behaviour. This might make you start doubting whether your concerns about your relationship are valid. If you’ve heard any of these before, it could be a sign of an unhealthy or controlling relationship.
Another sign of an abusive relationship can be if your behaviour has changed because of how your partner treats you or your children. Perpetrators often create justifications for their actions, which they use to place blame on survivors and to take away any responsibility from themselves.
We’re here to tell you that perpetrators alone are responsible for their actions. We’re here to support you and help you to explore your options, because you deserve a kind, healthy relationship where you don’t feel trapped.
A healthy relationship should be a loving, respectful place with values like support, freedom, happiness and consent at the centre.
We know talking to someone else about your personal life can be hard but getting in touch with us can be your first and most important step.
When you contact us, we promise we will:
Never judge you or what you say
Always have a fully trained female support worker available
Give you space to explore your options
Support you to make safe choices for you and your children
Keep everything you tell us confidential
(credit Woman’s Aid)
Makes me feel safe
Makes me feel comfortable
Listens to me
Values my opinions
Supports what I want to do in life
Is always truthful to me
Always tries to understand how I feel
Likes that I have other friends
Makes me laugh
Trusts me
Treats me as an equal
Respects my family
Understands my need for time alone or with family
Accepts me as I am
Always checking up on me
Tries to control me
Keeps me from seeing my friends and family
Makes all the decisions
Always blames me
Makes me cry
Threatens to leave me if I do not do as I’m told
Teases, bullies and puts me down
Embarrasses me in front of others
Makes me feel afraid
Takes my money and other things
Gets violent, loses temper quickly
Is sexually demanding
Hits me
We are here to help
We are available 24/7 on our HELPLINE 0800 7356836
Or you can email us on hello@freeda.org.je